the loss of anticipation

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I’ve heard it many times. What a great loss, the “art of letter writing.” I have to agree, and would extend the sentiment to include almost all hand writing, especially in junior high/high school. There were love letters, to and from my first love; notes to friends (written in or out of school); and various pieces of writing for class.

Notes to and from friends – they were the best, and I greatly anticipated their “arrival,” as we traded notes in the halls of high school. My best friend Beth and I crafted creative work that made us laugh and exercised our creative muscles. I still have those notes, and when I re-read them, they bring me great joy. They were SO funny! I think humor was the most important ingredient in those notes. I still laugh, when I re-read them.

And then there were the love letters. I had a boyfriend in high school, and into college. We had classes together, and exchanged notes often. The anticipation of receiving these notes was overwhelming! I was 17….hormones were off the charts.

And then there were class notes. I learned early on how valuable class notes were, and got very good at taking them. I was a straight -A student. Nothing interfered with my studies, but sometimes I found myself distracted. I was very insecure about my body, and that’s when my eating disorder began. I felt like I was losing control of some things in my life, so I started to control my weight. Anorexia and bulimia became part of my life.

I still restricted as well, eating rarely and very little, while abusing laxatives. I became dependent on them, which has messed up my digestive system for life. I have to be very careful of what I eat, and how much. It’s a pain, but it’s all my fault. I will never be “normal.”

what happened to hand writing?

electronics and the internet.

Texting, and advancements in technology. All this and more, has removed the need for letter writing (for example)…texting is faster and easy. Email too.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the convenience and the speed. But I have nothing “tangible” to hold onto and feel. Texting and email have emojis. They’re supposed to fill in emotion and feelings. But I’m still stuck reading a screen. I miss holding a hand-written letter in my hands and reading it. The feel of the paper, and strokes of the pen…this is how I feel about books too. I’m connected to the writer immediately. The anticipation of what’s in the letter – that’s a feeling I haven’t had in some time.

Anticipation.

I miss this.

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1 Comment

  1. It’s true. Years ago, I used to love seeing letters from friends or relatives, generally from far away. Now, the only thing in the post box is advertisements. Even bills come electronically now. I miss the breezy, newsy cards and letters. You’re right – a text and an emoji aren’t the same. Great post.

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