eating disorder has been with me for 40 years. I’m used to how it feels…omnipresent in my life, it affects every part of my self-esteem and my opinion of myself. the bipolar diagnosis, however, is different. Up and down, unpredictable and upsetting…this “condition” is visceral. depression is insidious and seeps into every thought. mania is […]
“Who has to pee?” All hands went up, including mine. We were like cattle, the herd all moving toward the front of the room. I was starting to get used to the rules here and took my place in the back of the line. This was not the worst thing about being here, I thought, […]
Hypnotic rain is falling in sheaths of quiet intensity…I feel the rain inside me, falling, pulsating, pooling in my head. Clotting like blood, raindrops collect and slide down my bare arm on this dark afternoon.
my depression is here again. depression so thick and sticky, like molasses. my whole mind and body overwhelmed with feelings of unworthiness. this is what bipolar is. its up and down, depressed and manic. sure, the meds help a LOT. but it’s the nature of the disease. pair it with an eating disorder and you’ve […]