(I know a bee is not a parasite! this photo just speaks to me. Michelle Caha)
it was like being flushed down a toilet and I couldn’t get out but $50 bucks an hour says it doesn’t matter why not put it behind you pretty soon you’ll be so angry and it’ll eat you up oh boy I can’t wait and then you’ll know how fucked up it was but Jesus Christ don’t you know I just can’t think I have no organs just a big dry husk from a rotten fruit I know but that’s good it’s progress the shape of things to come and being empty is a good sign void is black and black is beautiful and I’m better off I know that so what if I brought him a cigarette and a Coke every fucking morning just to get him out of bed service with a smile and we would pass in the bathroom wads of toilet paper in his hand because cocaine nights means mornings never come they just creep up on you and then you’re blowing your nose and blowing off work and blowing the money that he stole from the restaurant where we worked humiliated and fired but hey who cares these jobs are a dime a dozen we can work anywhere right right so let’s just buy a sixpack Miami Vice is on don’t forget the cigarettes I love you so much you’re all I have we have to stick together so grab me another beer will you and sit next to me I don’t feel so good wanna do a line sure why not we don’t have to work in the morning ha ha and Giant takes checks let’s buy a big dinner and stay in the apartment for a few days we’ll get jobs next week ok no one can bother us since the phone is disconnected ok sounds good can I have a cigarette oops smoked the last one will you go get some and get me some ice cream too I sure will love you too but then I’m outside that creaky door swinging behind me and I see some real people laughing and I can’t believe I’m here but get that out of your head quick the course of true love never did run smooth right he’s a rebel you love it just stick it out plus there’s more beer in the fridge but what’s that on the dashboard just the withdrawal slip from the registrar’s office so what you’re still young and he’s so good in bed remember that night he lit the candles and made you dinner just forget the things you heard from everyone reliable sources and pop the tape in because they’re playing our song he remembers it most of the time so why worry just coast for a while parents will get used to it and who cares because I don’t live there anymore and I left on good terms what did my mother say just be careful and take care of yourself oh I will it’s easy when you can’t see but then I got glasses sort of and faced the music saw a big foot with me underneath but I kept running because I like to be crushed too bad about the…well you know it happens to the best of us and some women go back to work the very next day imagine just a five minute procedure …I love you believe me my old girlfriend went through it and it’s not so bad how do you know don’t cry I’m here aren’t I yes you are I’m sorry please always stay with me I’ll never say never do lines again and you can go out with your friends every night ok ok just give me a cigarette I’m getting sick of your scenes she was just a friend from work and I needed a ride home my car broke down again what was I supposed to do walk it’s ok I knew he was cheating but why can’t I breathe it’s so hot in here I’m dizzy but I won’t leave let’s drink some more beers sure I’m ok can I have a cigarette thanks he’s just an asshole forget it I know you’re right it takes time but why do I remember the good times so much and all I ever want to do is drive my car and smoke but that’s ok because I never call him he lives with her now just another host for a money-sucking parasite right I hope she learns her lesson like I did I already heard he’s cheating on her but damn don’t I wish he’d call me just want to hear his voice want to hear him say my name because I forget what it sounds like…
husks don’t have names and then the dreams always make me cry oh come on I can’t believe it because every time I dream about him it’s nice not anything like the toilet bowl it pisses me off because now he would laugh and say I TOLD you I was the best thing that ever happened to you you just can’t shake it can you oh sure it just takes time and money $50 bucks an hour but it’s worth it but I wonder how she can stand me sometimes mostly I just cry and lie but hey it’s her job right so just tell me how you’re feeling miss husk well not too good doctor maybe just a little dead corny huh still joking well that’s good if you liked that one I’ve got a really funny one for you how about the one about the girl who sold her self-esteem for a good fuck oh you heard that one already.
