for a very long time, I inhabited the world of UNdiagnosed, MISdiagnosed, and OVERmedicated. it’s a full-time job, pursuing affordable, qualified psychiatric care.
and, when you finally find a doctor that takes your insurance, and is qualified to deal with the specifics of your illness(es), they’re not taking new patients. it’s a very involved process, and you need to be prepared to be on hold for a while. a very LONG WHILE.
but it’s worth it. I found a few prospects, after a LENGTHY internet search. I’m meeting with my new therapist for the second time next week. I like her. so far. and I’ve met with the psychiatrist who writes prescriptions, and I’m very happy with her too. she’s still working on my medication plan, but I feel HEARD…UNDERSTOOD. I’m so afraid that somehow the medications that I’m on (the ones that work really well on bipolar disorder) will somehow become unavailable to me. I’m so terrified of being immersed in bipolar hell again. I guess this fear is normal.
it’s a messy world. mental illness is still stigmatized, and I write about it because I want to help raise awareness. and I want to GET BETTER. getting better involves treatment, and working hard. I’m committed to both. again.
I know it works because I’ve seen it. and I’ve been on a “wellness path” before, but I’ve not been able to sustain “getting better.” I attribute that to inconsistent, under-qualified treatment. finding the right therapist is of paramount importance, and I hope I’ve done that. only time will tell.
‘time” is a difficult concept for an ed patient. waiting is hard. we don’t do well, left to our own devices. so I’m hyper-vigilant in my mindset. GET BETTER. WORK HARD. SUSTAIN RECOVERY.
if only.
Therapist shopping is hard and having to deal with the hell that is medical insurance must make it worse.