depression is here again…

Photo by Engin Akyurt on

my depression is here again.  depression so thick and sticky, like molasses.  my whole mind and body overwhelmed with feelings of unworthiness.  this is what bipolar is.  its up and down, depressed and manic.  sure, the meds help a LOT.  but it’s the nature of the disease.  pair it with an eating disorder and you’ve got quite a mess.  I do what I’m supposed to.  take my meds, try and eat a couple of times a day.  I still feel a cloud over me.  don’t feel like talking to anyone…especially someone that is going through the same stuff.  too depressed to try and “share” with someone.  SO TIRED of “sharing”…I can’t even stand the sound of the word.  I want to tear away and twist off the flesh that is on my stomach, my thighs…I am leaving fingerprint bruises all over my body.  I’m not sure what to do, so I take my meds (it’s been 3 days), and crawl back into bed.  hope I can wait it out.  I’ve been here before…just takes time.

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